Hidden stories.

Dear Sunflower,

       So it's been around 5 months I've know you. I've to admit we still don't know each other well, however I've fallen deeply for you despite just 5 months. Probably the 1st month was getting to know you and feelings start to develop quickly. However, I'm just hoping something that will only happen like 1% out of 100% or even lesser. I don't know why am i still holding on sometimes, but i just can't move on or give up despite the duration is only like 4 months.

      I only can keep all this feelings to myself and cover it with something else so it won't be that obvious. I can only tell my feelings for you to some of my friends but not YOU. All these stuff makes me feel sad, lonely, emotional at times. The need(desire) to "see" you increases even though we just met each other. Probably we didn't bid goodbye to each other properly because I was sleeping.

      Sometimes I'm thinking of you getting into a relationship, just thoughts and imagination was nearly enough to drown me in my river of sorrow. I know it's selfish but I hope you won't get into any relationships unless that person its really someone whom you are spending your life with. Sometimes your actions, words and our interaction makes me feel that I might have a chance to get together with you. But deep down in my heart, I know it's hardly possible but I won't stop hoping, I don't know why however, I do know that I don't want to question my feelings for you any more.

     Be it that it's an one sided of me, be it comments of me being stupid and stubborn. I don't care any more because right NOW, this moment! I do know that I love you and that's enough for me.



-N

Hold on or to let go.

Its been ages since i blogged, but i guess nobody even read it in the first place. Life's been pretty smooth i guess? I mean there's nothing exciting or depressing enough to let me have the thoughts of dying, yet. So practically, I worked from 2013 Jan, all the way to Aug then i started to slack at home and be a leech, leech my parent's money. Of course been attending tuitions to prepare my O-level ( 2nd time) ~ and then step foot into the working society again on Oct 2013! Met some awesome colleagues and in-charge, i guess the turning point of my life is at Oct too.

 I mean that's the month i took my O-level and got myself a BFF (wtf). Anyway now is end of Jan, results out. Not good at all, to be honest i don't know how did i even get such a shitty results after slogging my guts out like a dog from August to October for the bloody paper and all i get is just a C6, FML. I guess that's an update of myself. Now to the main topic. To hold on or letting go.

Personally, i think it all depends on how you see the matter. For example, if its something very important to you but holding on will get you mentally drain, hurt, scarred and etc. by the end of the day if you think its worth it, why not just keep trying to hold on. Letting go doesn't sound as easy as it seems and i think a lot of people know that. However taking a strained relationship as an example, both sides are unhappy, why not just let go, probably after letting go and you still believe that you love your another half, hold on to the love and take actions. Nobody say after letting go, you can't hold on. However sometimes we, as humans do not get the rights to decide whether to hold on or let go hence may the odds ever be in your favour.

However in my case, it'll be the opposite. It hurts to hold on but sometimes it hurts even more to let go. 

Well basically, because i think i can't bear the pain of letting go of some matters. 

Parents

As the title had stated, this blog post is going to be about parents. Parents basically means our mum and dad ( you dont say) I believe there are many types of parents like, inexpressive ones, expressive ones, strict ones, loving ones and many more!

Some parents at some point of time just dont understand what their kids wants, just for an example.
When a child had really done his best for his exams but the results was average. At this point of time, i believe parent's encouragement will come in handy BUT i dont understand why some parents just choose to reprimand the child for not studying harder. I mean like hello! Maybe he had done his best but because you guys didnt see it doesnt mean he didnt study. Of course, maybe that kid deserve it in some people's point of view.

Loving parents -
Some parents believe that to love children means to do their. They take excessive pity on the child and feel that as a parent it is their duty to do things for him. So at six years old a child is still be dressed by the parents. He is considered too young to tie his own shoes, or comb his hair. This type of parents may causes child to be over-relying on them

Inexpressive Parents-

Parents under this category hardly praise their kids or don't say 'I love you" to their kids. They just think all these words are excessive and pretty useless because they don't see the point of showing their love to their children. However, as a children we think likewise, why does my friend's parents say 'Love you" to them but mine parents don't. 

Overprotective Parents-

Parents who have overly stringent demands and think that their children are too young and this may sometimes be the case but sometimes the child has grown up and matured and is capable of making his or her own decisions but the parents still view them as a small child who is incapable of making wise decisions. This will cause children to be unprepared facing the reality world.

In my case, my parents are under the category of inexpressive ones. Since the day im born which is 11th July 1996 till 5th Feb 2013, i never ever heard my parents said "I love you" to me before. Furthermore, in my memories i dont remember my parents kiss me before. Come to think of it, i'm positive i can use the word 'NEVER'. No matter what fair does my school organized like, Sports fair, fun fair. My parents never ever came once but of course they only come to my school for this " PARENTS TEACHERS MEETING " which got me into lots of trouble. Pffft.

Overall, i'm sure our parents do love us but some of them may have use a wrong method. Causing us to unable to feel their love.

Movies

Today went to vivo and look for sist to watch movies. Yes it's movies because we watched 2 movies in one night! First time in my life you know! (Suagu bobian) while waiting for her to finish work, i went to starbucks and enjoyed a cup of white mocha frappe! It was delicious! LOL!

 Anyway watched Ah Boys to Men 2 and i learnt something, leave no man behind! But its kinda stupid at 1 scene but i shall not spoil it for you guys~ Hence, go watch the movie ASAP so i can say out loud about how stupid is that scene is. It's seriously stupid, okay la maybe not really stupid but like more of WTH!

After watching ABTM2, we went to walk around because we still have around 30mins before MAMA starts. While walking around at Vivo, we saw the cast (Tosh, Noah and Wei Liang aka Lobang) right in front of us. Sist took a picture with them and then we left. I didnt take them with cause i think it will be VERY weird for me to take a picture with them. After walking around, it was time for us to go inside the theatre. I swear MAMA is freaking scary! That mama(ghost) is just plain horrifying, add on the effects and plots, my goodness. I feel like i lost my soul and leg was wobbly after the movie ended. LOL! And for those who didnt know that but the one acting MAMA was actually a guy name Javier Botet. I cant believe he is so skinny, his wrist and arms might be even smaller than mine! Anyway kudos to you, Javier Botet!

I swear its damn long since i blogged well, was busy with work. Right now, im facing a life that requires courage and perseverance. Well, this is mainly because i actually might not be able to get into any polytechnics because i failed my Science. By 1 grade i could have made it to poly sigh.. Hence, im now waiting for the appeal results to come out and pray dammnn hard so that i can enter in to Republic Poly or Nanyang poly! This friday need to head down to Nanyang poly to hand in my DAE form. I really hope i can go in! So, i hope theres vacancies so that my chances will increase! LOL!

After receiving my results, i got some encouragement from friends and relatives. Which is such a surprise because i thought some of my relatives will criticize me with their judgmental remarks. Anyway i felt like banging my head against the table like the gif below when i saw my results.

Work at Robinsons had come to an end after nearly 1 month. I miss all my colleagues over there, especially Dora( Sabariah), Annie and Siti. I swear with them around, i just keep on laughing and laughing. Sadly, they doesnt need anymore manpower thus i cant entend my stay over there. Found a job in changi freight as packer but my role is more towards data entry. Everyday have to wake up at 6:15! My goodness, even more hardworking than schooling times. Since its now 31/1 which means its my last day today! Im damn happy this job is only for 1 week because the location is damn far otherwise i dont mind continuing my stay over there. Anyway got to stop here. Bye

Imma fool.

Come to think of it. I dont think i will get to see your face that frequently again. Normally i can see your face almost like everyday where its like a pleasant routine for me. However, After god knows what happen, i dont think we can meet other anymore. Its like you're avoiding me, what can i do? Nothing, sigh..

Time passes quickly whenever you look back. 9months, not very long but not that short either because 9months equal approximately of 270 days. 270 days.. I'm such a fool. I wanted to confront you however i dont have that courage as im afraid things might get screwed up more. But, now im here thinking, maybe i can call you out for dinner and let the both of us talk about this. C'mon i dont think you will agree. I shall just let nature take its course. I just hope whoever's up there can bless me.

I wish you luck for everything you do. I think without me in your life, you might live more carefree. Afterall, im just a extra in your life that irritates you. Everytime i read our conversation in the past, i always think what happen? What just in the world happen to cause us have such a drastic change. Because of the rumors? Yourself? Me? I dont know...

However, im not giving up yet but i wont do anything either. I will just let this tiny secret take in my heart. Just like what you sang. Im a lonely satellite. Bottle up those feelings, lip sealed. Watch you live your life to the fullest.

Class chalet (1)

Class chalet was quite awesome(?) even though its just the first day but I think not bad however, there's like only 16 people of us. Quite less for a class chalet. LOL! Okay I'm blogging this while everyone is asleep D: like a loner. Forever alone level X999!! T_T

Anyway I just realized, I didn't get to sleep on any bed for any class chalet. LOL! But i think it's okay? Okay seriously, I think I'm stopping here. Anyway I hate moths!

昨天，明天都抵不过一个现在。
And i think that this sentence is so true! Whats better than the "PRESENT", definitely not tomorrow nor the past.

Cherish the moment you enjoy.

Prom

Today's prom (maybe yesterday since this entry is posted at midnight) was awesome! People there were looking great, atmosphere was nice, emcee was funny and entertaining however nothing is perfect about the food! Less variety of choice, does not look appetizing at ALL! However ah, the teachers were eating other food which idk what is it. But got 1 pot of theirs look like SHARK FIN. LOOKS LIKE BUT SHARK FIN YOU KNOW?!
The last moment of prom was damn fun! Its like clubbing, everyone was showing off their skills or dancing randomly. I think best part for my table will be the moment when i sabo Jasmine to go up stage and dance to song of -Dancing Queen- I swear its damn epic! After prom, went supper with the usual ones except Val and Pea. D:





Anyway, regretted not going around to take pictures with other people other than my clique because i was feeling lazy and paiseh laaa. Skin thin, no choice. Cry in front of my laptop lor, sigh. Espically 2E6's peeps however took pictures with some of 2E6's people after prom hence the regretful level is lessen LOL!!

I still dont know what happen to cause this thing stopped till August but oh well lets hope things will get better as times pass. Sadly, we are going to different directions hence maybe tonight was my last chance to see some people. Still regretting why i didnt take picture with you -facepalm and bang head- Oh well, lets hope there is still chance and im definitely going to make things right! Ciaos.

Strangers.

Does anyone have a person you know then one fine day, both of you became strangers? I believe this happen to almost everyone because it happened to me too...

Good luck people.

Am i the only one?

Lets start with yesterday, apparently some idiots have no upbringing at all, its like oi your mum never teach you manners ah? You tell me, except for this kind of people who will go around saying "fuck your mum" then dont blame people for cursing your mum at the end of the day, faggot! Well, people will say if you do that, you're no difference from him. Yes, at some point, however those idiots need to be taught a lesson with their OWN medicine. 

Well having iPhone is not a big deal, i bet out of 10 people 6 people have it. Then can you enlighten me why the fuck must i work in red light districts to earn 3dollars a night? Excuse me, my father no money to pay for me ah? Please, use your fucking brain for ONCE! So let me guess, is that how you earn your allowance. Well if i only earn 3bucks a night, i bet you had to fork out 3000dollars to have someone to have sex with you since you're such a disgust.



Anyway...
Today i had like a worst depression in my entire life. Initally i was fine until during EL ssp, had too much free time and start to think of some stuffs. Of course, the saddest part of me came out. Literally almost cried from thinking those stuffs. Its like small small stuffs add together, woah FML.

I seriously dont know whats happening to us. I dont whether you are lazy, sleeping or dont even bother to reply. It make me that im bothering you, irritating you. If i am, you can jolly tell me. Its been 5 months since we started this thing and it all changed after July. Oh well, i really dont know what to do now. Other then singing songs at the top of my lungs, i really dont know what else can i do.


If i talk to you about all these, you will definitely get pissed, then whats the point of us talking. Oh well, i just let fate do all those stuffs.

What's what?

What's love? According to dictionaries love means "feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone)." Love is something that not everyone can get. Love is something hurtful but sweet at times. Maybe thats why us mortals are so "addicted" into LOVE.

From my point of view, a relationship requires; Trust, Attachment, Mutal Understanding and Sense of Security. (TAMS). I think all these are required if you want a relationship to last long. But all those people who are in a relationship needs to know that they are at least loved by the people they love. Not like those peoples who have crush on someone BUT worst thing is, their crush always CRUSH their heart. Loving someone is not easy, having a crush on someone is even harder. Hence those people who are in a relationship, cherish it. Make sure you don't have any regrets. 

Note to everyone: 

• Behind every sweet smile, there is a bitter sadness that no one can ever see and feel.

Singapore Zoo

Great deal for August babies! You guys are definitely in luck! All of you can go the Singapore zoo for FREE! F-R-E-E! Normally they charge a entry for $20 but ITS FREE for the august babies PS: yes i'm jealous! cannot is it?!



Well T&Cs do apply, i will summarize it for you guys, basically you guys need to be a Singapore citizen or PR (Permanent Residents) and you only need to show your IC and HWALA~ Free entry to the zoo~ This basically is the things you need to look out for, for more info go to http://www.zoo.com.sg/events-promos/national-day-fun-12.html !

Furthermore, Singapore Zoo have changed a lot these few years, the last time i went was Pri 4 or 5? I hope im able to go this saturday but i shall see how first. Anyway Happy National Day! :D

找朋友陪伴都不抵不过你一半

Prelim 1 is finally over although i didn't really study for it. LOL, no point regretting about it since its over. Anyway got back Emaths paper1 today and i was like muthafucking depressed! I got 26/80. I was like" are you serious?!" FYI: The lowest paper 1 mark i ever get. Thus i feel like flushing down the paper into my toilet bowl however I'm afraid it will get stuck,

Anyway, away from those depressing stuffs. Something happy! Art coursework's deadline got extended!! For 1 week and to be precise I'm left with 6 day, BUT im finishing already. Just left with some minor touch-up. Nyahahahahaha.

I think thats all i want to say LOL
Anyway listen to 黄美珍's song. Got that kind of 另一种的悲观

My life's theme song

等你

小星星

浪费

These 3 songs are my top favorite! Anyway i wrote a song personally for my mum! BUT, its just 2 minutes :/

Life for a secondary 4 student is just the same routine the whole year. Test, test and more test! Whats new? Been too tired these days to update my blog. 

Let my friends to accompany to the point that im embarrassed 

Love will never leave wounds that are easy to heal.

Overdue posts!

Birthday girl however main point is on Jasmine's face. HAHAHAHAHA

Jasmine applying "facial" cream on Vannu's face. Well she gave up because everytime she wiped it off, Jasmine bua another layer on her face LOL.

 Jasmine why you so HIAO?! Seducing who!?

Vanni with the "Are you done yet?!" face.

All of these are overdue pictures. LOL! It was on Vanni's birthday and we went to her house to give her a surprise. In the end, she was having her nap! Walao, sleep so much! Anyway we stayed at her house for around 2 hours and we made a big mess and the birthday girl need to clean it up HAHAHAHAH! Well it was quite fun although it was short.

Next day had Art ssp and went home to pack. Lastly, before leaving singapore. Had dinner with Melvin. Reach ipoh around 5am, took a short nap and went for dimsum at 7am! Saturday had pre-wedding party, its not that fun, just went there. Eat, gamble and sit. Went home and i realised that this little boy is staying over at my place :O

He look so cute!

Well this little boy here is my nephew ._. WTF, i sound so old now. :/ His name is William and as you can see, he is obsessed with car toys. Sadly he left the next day :/

Went to some temple and saw this lotus. It is so beautiful la!

Then it was the wedding dinner

Popo, Grand-uncle(?)舅公, 舅舅, his wife(have a bitchy attitude, almost rolled my eye in front of her during that day, 舅婆，舅舅 and another 舅公(He dotes me the most NYAHAHAHAHA)

Same 3, Mummy and ME! :D

In the bus, on the way to KL~ 

Woke up at 4:30am just for that stupid 1 day tour, i swear it the stupidest 1 day tour, i ever had in my whole life!

Went to birdpark and that's a peacock on the tree. Question, can peacock fly?!

Went to the istana, took a few pictures but shall just upload this first.

After that went home and reached ipoh around 12+ midnight. I was tired to the point that the moment i lie on my bed, i fell asleep. After that was just going to shopping malls and more shopping malls.

Returned to Singapore on Wednesday and Friday went out with the E6's. Watched Snow-White and the huntsman.  Overall the movie is not bad, around 3.7/5 

-21/06/2012

Went east coast park with, Liqing, Pearlyn, Valencia, Kenneth, Chimeng, Amanda, Vanni, Jasmine and Yangzhao. 

Chimeng kena poked by me , literally ._.

Chimeng, Yangzhao, Kennth, Jasmine and Pearlyn.

That kenneth was wearing a blue hoodie which got splashed paint by loan sharks. My goodness~ Longest post i ever had for awhile. 

Bye.

Leaving off soon.

Been days since i blogged right~ Sorry laaa~ Last Sunday, i went for ice skating at kallang! It was so fun but tiring as the same time. After 2hours, all of us was in the low-energy state LOL. I think its because we didnt skate for quite a time thus we were tired just after 2 hours. We took some selcas LOL.

 Liqing, Me and Pea

 Valencia and I. The minwoo fans UNITE! LOL

Pea and I AGAIN LOL

We had loads of fun together( Liqing, Pearlyn, Amanda, Vanni, Valencia and Alina)

After that we went to have dinner at KFC. Took some unglam pictures of Pea but shall not post it incase she's gonna take revenge. I cannot take it LOL!!

Monday till today, was tiring. Had Art SSP from morning 8am to 5pm. SOO LONNGGG 9hours, my god!

Tomorrow is only thursday, I wish Friday can come quickly, because im leaving for malaysia! Its been 1 year and 2 months since i went back. Previously i went back is for my grandfathers' funeral. But this time, its for a happy occasion! I think i will get to spend a lot LOL since Malaysia's stuff is cheaper must GRAB LOL! Anyway tomorrow is Vanni's birthday! That stupid ahlian is the best ahlian i see in my whole life. LOL!

Say Cheesee~~~ LOL, im so lame. Its just my icamera iPhone cover. Cool right? But all my friends say its big, annoying and ZOR DENG! Where got?! I think very fashionable leh LOL! Okay so after im back from my holiday in Malaysia, i think i'll meet up with Janelle. Its been centuries the last time i saw her. That woman now living happily with the boyfriend kns :/ 

Shall end here for today. Bye ^___^ !

Im so excited!!

Ok first of all, i shall say what is making me so excited, 1) Ice skating!! 2) My iCamera cover case is going to be within my reach SOON! 3) MYE is going to endd~~

As i said previously, im going to ice skating~ But i didnt really elaborate on it. Well this time round, im going with my 'SISTER' group. They keep on calling me sister (-___-) LOL anyway its very cheap, well cheaper than Jcubes' and definitely WAYYYY nearer than Jcube. LOL!

This is the place where you see me if you come on Sunday! Provided you want to see me, that is. LOL!

And my iCamera iphone cover, it looks like this

Cool right? I ordered the black one, cause being a careless person. I cant buy the white one, because i will dirty it very FAST. Previously, bought a 2bucks white colour cover and it turned yellowish and reddish in less than 2weeks. Destructor~~ HAHAH

Yesterday went to Expo Food Fair~~ Things at there were selling at a very cheap price! Esp. BAHKWA, MY FAVOURITE. Normally shop sell 500g at 20bucks++ right? However, the food fair were selling 500g at 12g ONLY! Buy already la, still wait meh? LOL. And now i am munching on it. Its so delicious, but need self-control. Fattening uh. LOL!

Went to East Coast Park too last night. 1 evening, go so many places ._. East Coast really is a very good place to slack or relax. I love the sea breeze because... IT GOT THE SEA SMELL. HAHAH I know its stupid LOL.

Last, but not least. Shall show you a 'PRETTY' lady. JASMINE~~

\

JASMINE WHY YOU SO PRETTY? HAHAHAHAHA. 

Shall end for now. Byebye~~

Urgent!!

As the title had said! Its something very urgent!! I need someone to design or create a blogskin for me, yes i am idiot who doesnt know how to create 1 myself pshh >3< . Anyway, i tried but it failed badly hence im resorted to use the blogspot basic template. Tskkk~~

So anyway today is 28th of may which means O LEVELS FOR MOTHER TONGUE. My god its so harddddd~~ Especially for compo, i think i screwed it up badly. BUT for paper 2 i got 24/30 nyahaha"~ Hope i can get an A2 at least. Just hope during August i wont breakdown infront of everyone and wail out loudly LOL! Anyway i am so excited for MYE to finish EVEN though every school in Singapore had finish already -.- Stupid school management, i bet my grandma can manage the school better than YOU (MDM OEN) ! However no point ranting behind the screen where that old woman cant even see it. So anyway back to the topic, I'm excitied because im going ice-skating again~ You shall see the elegance me on the ice rink, skating through the rink like a little butterfly LOL. Sounds gross-.- After that im going back malaysia for a wedding dinner, YES AH! After that maybe heading to thailand for a short vacation or just come back to singapore and spend my holidays with my friends. 亲爱的朋友们～ LOL. But before all the fun part happen during the holidays, i need to spend 5 FULL DAYS in school on the 2nd week of the holidays just to do my stupid art coursework?! Tmd, what witchcraft is this? Or what LOGIC IS THIS?! But oh well, sucks to be a art student-.- Last, but not least, im waiting for the iphone cover i ordered from g-market! Its call iCamera, its sooooo cool lah (i think?) LOL. Because first of all, the cover is camera shape, my god bring it outside to gaigai look so ATAS!! And right got neck strap somemore, Like DSLR leh, (act only) LOL. So anyway shall end here byebye~